Starting again.

What can I say, starting again sounds like nothing really interesting. And I really want to have your attention. Not just for what I have to say, but to express my self. And looking for the feeling of being heard and understand. As a divorce, working mom, most of the time I feel like nothing else is more important than my kids. So, starting again is my expression about starting a new relationship. Starting again the flirting, the dates, the relation between my kids and the new prospect. Starting the thinking of what really I want about the new guy coming to my life. And yes, I am the kind of woman that doesn’t want just a night. In my early 40’s I can’t forget the core values if I am looking for a partner to complement the rest of my years.

So, after some tries of finding the correct guy and loosing my temper and my hope trying to find someone how can be in the same page, not perfect and not equal as me. But with a kind of the same vision and values; I find some one that fits almost at 90%. Let me start at the begging.

I am in my early 40’s, as i just say, with to boys and a bit of workaholic. I have been alone for almost 2 years, and before, I try to connect with some guys on dating sites. Why? Because I am a kind of good looking lady, that have some issues connecting with men’s in person. For some reason I just learn to stay away from men’s. In my young hood I pass the weekends in baseball parks because of my brother. He was a baseball payer, and my parents were overprotective. So, I grow up avoiding meeting with men’s or even chatting with them. As I grow up I work almost always, only with woman’s, and that add to my problem of connecting with men’s. So yeah I find my self trying to reconstruct my self looking to find my perfect men in the dating apps.

Last year I say to my self that I have to take a time to stay calm and focus on my boys. But why? They are going to grow up and then leave me to make them their own life. I need to find someone how can share with me my days, someone how can ad joy and exiting days to my life and of course, someone how can be my rock in my darkness days, someone how can lift me up wen I feel like nothing and someone how can bring me closer to GOD . I always have in my life this feeling of needing to connect with GOD, and serve to the people in need. I know that we all have a porpuse in life so, here I am trying to find my love and my porpuse.

I never think that I will be finding someone so near to me, at work.